Canada's Maple Syrup Romance
by sodawitch
Summary: Ever since Matthew was a child he always loved maple syrup. If maple syrup could talk they would have been the best of friends. Anyone who knew the Canadian was aware of this love but no one expected how deep it truely was...
1. His First Love  Chapter 1

His First Love

Matthew always loved maple syrup. It's deliciously sweet taste, pleasant aroma and beautiful golden brown color had captivated him for as long as he could remember. However, it wasn't until he was about five that he fully appreciated how sticky syrup truly was. It was on a Tuesday; Alfred had Arthur's full attention after a loud crash was heard in the dining room where Arthur's antique tea set used to be. Baby Canada took this as an invitation to do something he had wanted to do for a whole week (a very long time for a five year old)! He had smelled syrup, seen syrup, tasted syrup, licked syrup but he had never DRANK syrup. Now was his chance! He grabbed the bottle and wrestled with the cap until it screwed off. The Canadian began to drink the syrup but what started as a simple sip of maple syrup turned into a mission. Matthew was no longer just trying to drink the maple syrup but was determined to cover himself entirely in the sticky, sweet and sugary substance. When England finally came into the kitchen to get a broom after hollering at Alfred for ten minutes Baby Canada had successfully covered himself in maple syrup, a look of complete satisfaction glued to his face. Matthew refused to get up from the seat claiming that he was "stuck" to his chair even though he knew he could get up if he wanted to. Arthur was so fed up with both of them he just went up to his bedroom and wept on the phone to France, nagging him about how he never helps him with America and Canada.

The brothers celebrated their day off from school with cartoons and animal crackers. By the time France came back from work England was drunk and Matthew was a little mosaic. Alfred had decided it was a good idea to take the glass from the tea cups he had broken and put them all over his very sticky brother (who still "could not move" from his chair). Francis eventually had to force Matthew to get off the chair and take a bath. After much soaking and desperate scrubbing Baby Canada was mostly clean…that is for his hair. France was devastated by Canada's now shaved head and England was devastated by his now shattered antique tea set but neither seemed that concerned by Canada being covered in glass at first. The incident resulted in England and France getting into a huge argument about setting their priorities in order. For a week America's PS2 was taken away while Canada lost his maple syrup privileges. To this day that is one of Canada's favorite childhood memories. Although this sticky memory is not at all alone, Matthew had many other maple syrup adventures.

There was that time England purchased several Super-Sized bottles of Maple Syrup because it was on sale and Canada had taken the opportunity to cover his bedroom in with maple syrup so he could learn what it felt like to "live inside maple syrup". Along with that other time he bathed in maple syrup. He also tried to make a meal ENTIRELY out of maple syrup. There was also that phase he went through where he was convinced that maple syrup would be THE WAY OF THE FUTURE, THE NEW GREEN ENERGY! Matthew destroyed the lawn mower and did substantial damage to the car with this new green fuel source of his. As a child Canada and Maple Syrup were inseparable. If Maple Syrup could talk they would have been the best of friends.


	2. His Obsession Chapter 2

His Obsession

For the majority of Canada's little adventures America helped either by being a distraction or a fun comrade for his schemes. He rather liked his older brother. Even though he was only a year older than him he looked up to him as a hero of sorts. This all changed however, when Matthew was fifteen. It was a Thursday, which used to be Canada's favorite day of the week. France and England had received a letter from the school he and his brother had gone to informing them that America was "obese". They were shocked, stunned even, they said things like, "Well, I knew he was a little chubby but he plays SO MUCH football how could this be!" Canada was repulsed. He knew America was a FAT-ASS! He knew his parents knew America was a FAT-ASS! He ALSO knew that America KNEW he was a FAT-ASS! So why they were pretending as though he had become "obese" overnight was beyond him. Despite America being just as fat as he had been the day before and the day before that, things started to change around Canada's house. Each meal was "balanced" every calorie accounted for. Certain foods disappeared completely while others were never the same again.

Matthew didn't care about the majority of these changes even though America practically had a heart attack when they took away hamburgers .That is until they put their grimy fingers on HIS maple syrup. They replaced his delicious sugary sweet syrup with SUGAR FREE MAPLE SYRUP! It was a far cry from REAL maple syrup! How dare they call this maple syrup! It was an imposter hiding behind an innocent looking label. It was trying to sabotage Canada with its nasty watery texture. Every time he would put it on a pancake it would degrade it to nothing more than soggy mush. Matthew became distraught with desire. He stopped speaking all together. The sugar free syrup changed him in ways no one thought possible. Canada was no longer the loud cheerful person they all knew and loved but a silent and almost invisible presence.

The young teen started doing drastic things to get his fix. He snuck around at night and used every bit of cash he could get his hands on to buy REAL maple syrup. Some teenagers discover porn he discovered maple syrup bottles, beautiful brown bottles with sticky sweet insides and perfectly round entrances. He continued this little habit of his even after America's diet was deemed a failure and REAL maple syrup was introduced back into the house. For a few months it wasn't that big of a deal, he only did it every once in a while. But as the days turned into months his little habit was becoming an obsession. He was doing it almost every day; his mind was always filled with thoughts of maple syrup. That is until England caught him in the act.


	3. His Misery Chapter 3

His Misery

Arthur always knew Matthew liked maple syrup far too much for his own good. He worried that his son's obsession would cause health problems such as tooth decay or weight gain. England sometimes feared he would walk into a room and find his pancake greedy son in a diabetic coma. But it never once crossed his mind that one day he would catch Canada masturbating with a maple syrup bottle. Perhaps he should have given the possibility some though in previous years because as he sat there in his living room drinking away his worries he had no clue what to do to help Matthew with his little habit. It had taken him a week of arguing with his imaginary unicorn, pirate and fairy friends for him to even grow the balls to tell France about his little discovery. Many drinks and obnoxious arguments later France and England had finally decided that it was best to remove the problem. By that I mean the maple syrup was taken out of the cabinet and not replaced the next time England went shopping. Canada was searched every time he entered the house to make sure he didn't have any syrup on him and any bottles he had stashed in his room had been burned.

This was far worse than the sugar free syrup. This time around he couldn't get any syrup at all! Although that wasn't the least of it, America had found out about Canada's little maple syrup fetish and had taken it upon himself to tell all his friends, who in turn told the whole fuckin' school. Matthew missed the old invisibility cloak he used to be able to wear during school. Now he not only had to endure a lack of maple syrup but also the pointed fingers and stares of his peers. It was as though he was dying from dehydration while traveling through the desert and when he finally got to a location where his cellphone received service, people just made fun of him when he asked for their help. At some point you just have to stop calling for help and give up.

England sat in the kitchen looking at the clock on the oven that read 8:00 pm. Canada had not come home from school and Arthur was beginning to worry. But as the Englishmen thought of all the places his son could have gone Canada stood only a few yards away. Matthew had gone to the supermarket after school and purchased as much maple syrup he could afford. Since then he had been in the garage playing with his sticky bottles of delight. It was all fun and games at first. He had drank half a bottle of maple syrup and then proceeded to cover his naked body with it. While still covered in the substance he grabbed the second bottle of maple syrup. The Canadian mindlessly flipped open and closed the lid of the new bottle as he thought about what exactly he wanted to do with it. Just as he was about to flip the lid closed again he swore he heard a strange noise coming from his beloved syrup. It almost sounded like the bottle was purring at him. Matthew stared in fear at the syrup and held it close to his ear. And sure enough he heard another purr this one longer and deeper than the last.

"I love you so much it hurts, Matthew," whispered the maple syrup. Canada threw the bottle across the garage screaming. As soon as the Canadian was calm enough to stop screaming he began to hear faint weeping. The noise was gradually getting louder and louder until the faint weeping became echoing sobs. It seemed to be coming from every direction the walls around him were pulsing with the noise although the syrup that clung to his bare skin was by far the loudest. The sticky substance seemed to move with each sob and Canada couldn't help but fall into that depressing rhythm and cry himself. Just as the Canadian's tears began to run down his face the bottle he had thrown across the room stood up but kept its back to Canada.

"It has been so long Matthew, since we have been together. Why have you abandoned me? Why do you abuse me and throw me like some common whore! Why? Why do you do this to me? I have sacrificed so much for you! And this is how you repay me! Don't you love me? Why don't you love me! Why! Why!" the maple syrup wept.

"I-I-I d-d-d-do love you! My p-p-p-parents they won't let me see you anymore! I'm sorry!

I still love you!" stuttered Canada.

"If your parent are keeping us apart then why are we able to be together now! You're a LIAR Matthew! A greedy LIAR!"

"No, no, no, no, no, I'm not lying! I had to sneak you in! T-T-T-That's why we're in the garage!"

"If you could sneak me in why has it taken you so long? Your embarrassed of me aren't you? Aren't You!"

"N-No, it's not that! It's my parents! It's….,"Canada hesitated as he thought of all the times he had been made fun of because of his love for maple syrup.

"If it's really because of your parents, end the problem!" shrieked the maple syrup.

"W-W-W-W-What d-d-d-do you m-m-mean!"

"KILL THEM MATTHEW!"

"W-W-W-What! No!"

"You won't kill them because it's not really their fault! It's because you are ashamed of me! Ashamed of our love!"

"N-N-No! I won't kill them because they're my parents! A-A-A-And killing people is wrong!What has gotten into you!"

"Aww , cute little Matthew, just standing there so helpless and stuttering. You must be so miserable. You want me so much but you won't get rid of what stands in your way! I should take you out of your misery!"Before Canada had any time to think his bottles of maple syrup began to surround him. The syrup covering his body began to suffocate him and he began to scream.

"Oh, don't fight it my sweet, sweet Matthew. It's so we can finally be together. You won't have to be ashamed anymore and you parents won't be able to get the way. We will love each other in death. Isn't it romantic?" Canada's now sour syrup coding took control of his limps and forced him to walk to where all the tools were in the garage.

"You're crazy!"

"I'm crazy? !I'm crazy!You're the one talking to a maple syrup bottle, my dear Matthew!" He was then forced to pick up the sharpest knife on the work desk. Tears began to flow again as the blade started towards his wrist. Canada tried to fight it but he then began to think of everyone he would be leaving behind and could see nothing but their looks of disgust. They were all ashamed of him, he was ashamed of himself.

"WHY AM I SUCH A FREAK?" Canada bellowed. He stopped fighting the blade and just let the blood flow from his wrist. France walked into the garage fifteen minutes later because he had forgotten something in his car and found his son lying on the ground with big gashes in his wrist covered in maple syrup. ..


End file.
